Posts Tagged ‘fun’

He might never have discovered America, because he would have had to answer all the following questions:

Is it like working hard full year & finding yourself at the same position where you started?

One day God comes and says :-

“I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who had control over their women, and the other one for the men who were controlled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk.

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines. The line for the men who were controlled by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who had control over their women there is only one man. God gets mad and says, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all controlled by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud.  Learn from him!” “Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

The man replies,

“I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control  of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters  from a shop window.

For a second everything went  quiet in the cab, then the driver said:

“Look mate, don’t ever do that  again. You scared the daylights out of me!”.

The  passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare  you so much.”

The  driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a  cab driver – I’ve been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years…….u can imagine what went into my mind when u touched my back!!

Point 1

Long back,

A person who sacrificed his sleep,

Forgot his family,

Forgot his food,

Forgot laughter were called

“Saints” 

But now they are called.. 

“IT professionals” 

Point 2

An interesting line written at the back of a Biker’s T Shirt: 

“If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off” 

Point 3

Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love.. 

Love is always present..

It’s just that,

One loves too much,

And

The other loves too many,

Point 4

Employee: Boss, now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!

Point 5

Philosophy of life

At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..! 

Point 6

What is a Fear?

Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach

When pages of your book still smell new 

And 

Just few hours left for your exams..! 

Point 7

Jus4Fun

Someone has rightly said, “A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer” 

No wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..! 

Point 8

Boy: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes? 

Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says “To the only Girl I ever loved!” 

Boy: That’s good, Give me 12 of them..! 

Point 9

After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: ” WE do have an opening for you..! 

Applicant: What is it? 

Interviewer: It’s called the “door..!” 

Point 10

A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company.. 

Drive Slowly, Don’t kill our Employee… 

….. Leave them to us

Life runs so fast that when we turn back we can believe that itz been so long. Ten years back exactly on same day we went to Ooty trip along with college buddies. Yes we were in our final year and we know if not then it will never happen together. And we were right after that we were unable to make it as a team till date. Some one or other will miss because so some other priority.

Coming back it all stands ever green in front of my eyes the planning we did. Initially we thought of going as a class trip. But we had some problem; 

• As usual there was a set of folks who said they cant spend money on tours.
• Then college said we have to take some faculty along with us if we had to take girls.

We were so mean those days that we scraped the idea of taking girls as we were not ready to pay for a faculty. Also we thought we can go along with core group of friends so that we can have ball of a time.

Then it was time for planning we collected all the tourist spots from TTDC and thru other sources. Then collected college bonafide certificate from college as it gave us concession in train tickets, dorm rooms in youth hostel & concession in theme park. 

Then came the D-Day we packed our bags on 05/09/1999 where in we all planned to take Electric train and meet assemble at Mambalam station. So fun started from there where in confusion started from there; 

• Venket boards a train and joins Balaji from Palavanthangal.
• Both of them will join Karthik from St.Thomas Mount station.
• All three will join me from Guindy Station.
• We all join other folks other than Saravanan in Mambalam station.
• Karthik has a habit to sleep when he stands. So we were unable to pull him down at Mambalam station because of crowd. So, Balaji caught the train and said he will pull him down at park station and he did that promptly.
• Then we all joined at park station and crossed the road and boarded train to Mettupalayam. And it was fun from then on.

Joy in Train: Venket took control by himself and claimed himself as the captain of the trip. Who cares we didn’t give him a damn and we were in our own world. So first step of control Venkat took was to lock all our bags and he was good at that and we were relieved that someone took care of our belongings.. Then he took all the snacks which we brought (we planned to have snacks for whole 5 day). But when Venkat slept we finished off all the snacks we brought within minutes.

Then we were shouting, talking, playing cards and didn’t sleep the whole night. We were pulling down each others socks. 

Then finally we reached Metupalayam by 7 AM and we ran to board Ooty heritage train. It was a 4 hour right and we enjoyed first 2 hours by running behind the train. Taking snaps on the falls that pours en route. Then we got bored. Then we reached Ooty and we were sitting in a park before we found the youth hostel.

We refreshed our self and it was already 2 PM and we proceeded to Lake that day and we returned back as we were tired as we didn’t sleep that day. Then we returned to Hostel and slept.

As we stayed there for 5 days we need 5 parts to cover the entire episode as each day was an epic by itself.

Today was reading Cinema Plus a supplementary paper that accompanies The Hindu magazine on Fridays. One of the article is “He’s done it!” featuring Arun Vijay and he says;

He is just back from a whirlwind tour of the State, visiting cinema halls where his film has been screened. “The encouragement has been overwhelming. Though my visits weren’t announced, in places like Madurai, people had queued up on the street where the theatre showing the film was!”

I’ve been in Madurai last week and I’ve never seen a houseful show and also when I went to the movie 2 days back there were hardly 10 – 15 people watching the movie. When I checked it with my friends asking if there was a houseful show they said they were able to get tickets across the counter on the first day and also during weekends. I don’t know how papers like The Hindu publish such exaggerated stories.

Over all I ended ROTFL (Rolled on the floor and laughed).

• Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
• Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
• Sprays duo such so that he doesn’t need to take bath.
• Sneezes and says ‘Excuse me’.
• Says “Hey” instead of  “Hi”.

       Says “Yogurt” instead says “Curds”.
       Says “Cab” instead of “Taxi”.
       Says “Candy” instead of “Chocolate”.
       Says “Cookie” instead of “Biscuit”.
       Says “Free Way” instead of “Highway”.
       Says “got to go” instead of “Have to go”.
       Says “Oh” instead of “Zero”, (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

• Doesn’t forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.
• Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
• Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
• Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
• When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats “Zee” several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)
• Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says “Oh! British Style!!!!”
• Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
• Even after 2 months, complaints about “Jet Lag”.
• Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
• Tries to drink “Diet Coke”, instead of Normal Coke.
• Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
• Pronounces “schedule” as “skejule”, and “module” as “mojule”.
• Looks speciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important

• From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.
• Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one

• Tries to begin conversation with “In US ….” or “When I was in US…”

One fat guy – goes to a popular GYM seeing an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone’s weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. ! They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute.

He’s standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying

” If you catch me, I’m yours.”

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed.

“No problem,” says the manager.

Again he is led to the large gym. This time he’s standing by the door when it opens….

Out comes a Gorilla with a sign.

“If I catch you, you’re mine .”