Here are some nice Dilbert’s one liners
October 6th, 2009 | 
Author: 1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3.  Try & try, if you don’t succeed, then CHEAT
4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you’re in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.Â
21. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. – Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human; to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success…. Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
and here’s the best of the lot
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or in love with someone else
 | Has Dilbert gone #anonymous ?Dilbert Daily Strip: 2012-02-11: http://t.co/KgaC848O Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:46:46 +0000 |
 | RT @stellar19: double yep «@jhennen Yep. http://t.co/y9inEYy5» Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:44:54 +0000 |
 | @trtinning - did Dilbert show up at your recent meetings? http://t.co/jBmL8Ebz Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:44:25 +0000 |
 | RT @swoodruff: Ha!! "There's no kill switch on awesome." Dilbert: http://t.co/67Coufr7 Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:41:54 +0000 |
 | So true like! @SeanChittenden: http://t.co/F482PKly "There's no kill switch for awesome." Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:41:25 +0000 |
 | RT @almojel: #privateequity #GCC #Saudi #MENA http://t.co/W38VSwJa Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:40:33 +0000 |
 | RT @daveshackleford: Today's Dilbert is teh awesome. http://t.co/ONbuu3yF <- That punchline is now my mantra. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:40:20 +0000 |
 | Dilbert 2.0: 20 Years of Dilbert (Hardcover) http://t.co/3xh8IKGW Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:39:49 +0000 |
 | RT @ioshints: There's no kill switch on awesome http://t.co/5y9Uw5nR Nuff said ... Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:39:15 +0000 |
 | There's no kill switch on awesome #thatsMe http://t.co/XxgP1BeK Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:37:44 +0000 |
 | RT @adrianco: Dilbert is awesome < concur, brilliant Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:37:01 +0000 |
 | @CGULGAS Stick the cheesesteak in the loud end. (Old Dilbert strip.) Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:35:20 +0000 |
 | Beste Dilbert: http://t.co/D9d2AKDk Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:33:49 +0000 |
 | RT @daveshackleford: Today's Dilbert is teh awesome. http://t.co/qCvpQJdN Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:33:11 +0000 |
 | Best Dilbert Ever http://t.co/S68aWDgW (via @whale) Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:32:25 +0000 |
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